Wedding Planning Advice by Your Enneagram
Updated: Jan 17, 2022
What is Enneagram?
“The Enneagram is a personality typing tool that breaks down the patterns of human behavior into nine distinct types. Each type has a specific motivation, along with basic fears, levels of health, and so forth. It’s particularly helpful in showing us our blindspots and coping mechanisms,” explained Sarajane Case of Enneagram and Coffee.
The 9 Types are commonly known by the following names,
but these can differ slightly:
The Perfectionist — The Rational, Idealistic Type: principled, purposeful, self-controlled, and perfectionistic.
The Helper — The Caring, Interpersonal Type: demonstrative, generous, people-pleasing, and possessive.
The Achiever — The Success-Oriented, Pragmatic Type: adaptive, excelling, driven, and image-conscious
The Individualist — The Sensitive, Withdrawn Type: expressive, dramatic, self-absorbed, and temperamental.
The Investigator — The Intense, Cerebral Type: perceptive, innovative, secretive, and isolated.
The Loyalist — The Committed, Security-Oriented Type: engaging, responsible, anxious, and suspicious.
The Enthusiast — The Busy, Fun-Loving Type: spontaneous, versatile, distractible, and scattered.
The Challenger — The Powerful, Dominating Type: self-confident, decisive, willful, and confrontational.
The Peacemaker — The Easygoing, Self-Effacing Type: receptive, reassuring, agreeable, and complacent.
If you're new to Enneagram, you can take a free test here. Better yet, take the test with your partner and follow my guide to Enneagram Date Night!
This is all great and everything, but how does this pertain
to wedding planning?
As your wedding planner and Enneagram Type 2 (The Helper), the better I can understand a person, the better I can do what I do best, help. I realize that we cannot simply place a person into a box (or a number in this case) and know everything there is to know about someone - every person is different and a unique compilation of their own lived experiences. However, the Enneagram does offer some insight to how people process information, how they respond in certain situations, where they may thrive, or what may overwhelm them, and in turn, how to handle those stressors.
Wedding planning advice by your Enneagram type:
Type 1 : You're organized, rational, and focused - wedding planning will come easily to you! The key is to remember there is no such thing as the perfect wedding, in fact, the best wedding moments are the perfectly imperfect moments you didn't plan at all. Try look at wedding planning less like a job and have fun
with it. Remember to schedule date nights and lots of time to connect with your person.
Type 2 : You may have a tendency to need to be needed and accepted. Two's are often seen as people pleasers. If there is ever a time to speak up and make something about you, this is the time to shine. DO NOT drown yourself in the input and expectations of others. DO ask for help and focus ways to reflect your unique love story in your wedding day. Put your needs first and practice lots of self care. Stick to your vision and try not to worry if people will "get it." You are the theme!
Type 3 : You're very practical - it's easy for you to take the lead and make decisions. However, don't feel like you need to do it all . Have faith in your people and outsource tasks. Focus on the aspects you find fun and spark joy. Take frequent breaks from planning sessions and seek time to be in solitude. Remember that
having the best wedding ever isn't something you can achieve, rather it's something you feel.
Type 4 : It might be easy to get sucked into wedding planning and creating a day that's larger than life. Rest assured that you do not need to go over the top to make your day unique, it will be special to you because YOU are the one who planned it! Stick to your vision and your budget. Be open to feedback from others. Set aside time for your people and let them ground you when you feel overwhelmed.
Type 5 : You have great ideas! Don't be afraid to speak up and share them. If you aren't sure how to bring your vision to life or managing a budget feels overwhelming, find a vendor team you can trust. Having a strong support system help make decisions will keep the process moving. Make todo lists and set realistic goals. Practice self care and avoid burnout.
Type 6 : You're gonna have a back up plan, and we appreciate that about you! Just be careful not to go down a "what if" rabbit hole and overthink things. Find a coordinator you can build a good relationship with so you have full faith in them handling any hiccups that arise on your wedding day. When you feel secure, you are more motivated, confident and accomplished - this is the energy we want for you!
Type 7 : Don't jump out of a plane as your aisle entrance. I'm kidding! But really, you do not need to set unrealistic expectations to wow your guests. Focus on one or two aspects that are really important to you. Make a to do list and stick to it - do not continue to scroll Pinterest or social media. You have great ideas, but when those ideas cause you stress, it can feel all consuming. Exercise. Get your wiggles out. Make plans with a clear head.
Type 8 : You're decisive and we like that about you! But be open to possible changes in those decisions. Try not to get stuck on small details and give up some control. The bar didn't end up being placed where you had planned for cocktail hour, guess what? Your guests don't know that and they will just be happy there is a bar! Focus on the aspects feel really important to you and outsource tasks that you feel less passionate about. Be vulnerable and open. Feel all your feels with your person.
Type 9 : Hey you! This is YOUR day! How do YOU want it look? How do YOU want it to feel? What's most important to YOU? Try not to plan a day based off of other people's input, you have great ideas too. Not sure how to bring them to life? Hire a rockstar vendor team that you vibe with. Outline your goals and don't compromise your vision. Avoid endless scrolling on Pinterest and social media - it will overwhelm you. If making big decisions causes you to freeze up, talk it through with the people you trust.
Moral of the story :
do not let wedding planning consume you,
focus on what's important (you and your person),
build a good support system
practice self care and have fun!
Thanks for reading!
I hope you found this helpful.