What Is a Blessingway? Ideas, Rituals, and Planning Tips

I recently started reading The Art of Gathering: How We Meet and Why It Matters by Priya Parker. As a wedding planner who spends most of her time planning and facilitating gatherings, this felt like required reading. I highly recommend it to anyone working in a human resources or leadership role.

In the first chapter, Parker explores why we gather and the purpose that sits at the center of every gathering. She shares a story about planning her own baby shower. Her initial instinct was to make it women-only, but when her husband questioned why he wouldn't be included, she realized she didn't have a clear answer. It forced her to think more deeply about the true purpose of the event. Once she identified that purpose, the guest list and format became much clearer.

Reading that story brought me back to my own pregnancy and the celebration I chose to host before becoming a mother.

This was shortly after we got married, and with all of the wedding events still fresh in my mind, I found myself wanting to be more intentional about the celebrations surrounding a new baby.

A traditional baby shower has a fairly clear purpose: celebrating the baby, showering parents with gifts, and helping stock the nursery. Those things are wonderful, but when I thought about what I actually needed as I prepared to become a mother, none of them felt like the answer.

And if I'm being honest, I also thought about how people like to spend their weekends. Very few people wake up on a Saturday morning genuinely excited about attending a baby shower. That's not a criticism—it's just reality. Baby showers often feel more like an obligation than an experience. More than diapers or baby gear, I wanted support. I wanted connection. I wanted to gather the people who would become my village.

So I chose to host a Blessingway instead.

Now don't get me wrong, I don't necessarily think people wake up excited to attend a Blessingway either. The difference is that a Blessingway begins with intention. The first step isn't choosing decorations or games—it's creating a guest list made up of your closest support system. The people who know you well, who are invested in your next chapter, and who would genuinely be excited to spend an afternoon celebrating and supporting you.

That distinction ended up shaping every decision that followed.

1. What's a Blessingway?

   A Blessingway is a gathering centered on supporting and honoring a person as they prepare for birth and motherhood. Inspired by Navajo traditions and adapted by many modern families, a Blessingway shifts the focus away from gifts and baby gear and toward connection, encouragement, and community. Rather than celebrating the baby alone, it creates space to acknowledge the profound transition into parenthood.

   Gatherings often include storytelling, shared meals, words of affirmation, symbolic rituals, and opportunities for loved ones to offer support for the journey ahead. The result is a more intimate and intentional experience that helps parents feel seen, celebrated, and held by their community.

2. Create a Comfortable Gathering Space

   I wanted the setting to feel relaxed and intimate, more like gathering in someone's living room than attending an event. But this was Ocean Beach in November...

   I created a cozy lounge area using a vintage rug, a low pallet table, and plenty of pillows and blankets. The setup encouraged people to settle in, stay awhile, and participate in the conversations and rituals rather than feeling like they were attending a structured party.

3. Choose a Few Meaningful Rituals

   I enlisted my cousin to help lead the Blessingway and do any speaking parts. She was the officiant at our wedding, so this was an obvious choice. She started with a guided meditation from the book Blessingways: A Guide To Mother-centered Baby Showers - Celebrating Pregnancy, Birth, And Motherhood by Shari Maser. Then she moved around the table and asked everyone to share a story about me or a wish for the future. As we went around the circle, each person had been instructed to bring a string and they added it to a hoop to symbolize the connection.

   Other ritual ideas could include:

   • Writing affirmation

   • Bead bracelet or necklace ceremony

   • Letter writing

   • Candle blessing

   • Thread ceremony

   • Henna or belly casts

4. Serve Food That Encourages Lingering

   Rather than a formal meal, I focused on food that felt comforting and encouraged people to linger. We brewed hot tea on a camp stove and served pastries from Devil's Teeth Baking Company in San Francisco's Sunset District—a nod to one of my strongest pregnancy cravings at the time. It was simple, cozy, and perfectly suited to a foggy day at the beach.

What I remember most from that day are the stories and affirmations shared around the circle. I felt seen, held, celebrated, and supported as I prepared to enter one of life's biggest transitions.

More importantly, I was able to look around and see this incredible group of women who had my back. Women who had walked this path before me, who were willing to share their wisdom, who had watched me grow into the person I was becoming, and who would continue to support me in the years ahead.